Class starts in 3 minutes, next door May 23, 2008
Posted by smartblondece in Oregon, Pacific NW, Rain, Weather, What?!, school.add a comment
I don’t want to go. I have to walk through the disgusting rain. Why does Oregon mean 98 and humid or cold and rainy???
One gaurentee… there will be water included.
I’m a whiney little bitch March 11, 2008
Posted by smartblondece in blah, school, sleep.3 comments
So here I go. Before I start I will fully admit that this is the combined fault of Kristin and I both, not that I’m blaming Kristin. We’re just both in the same boat now because of our combined stupidity and laziness.
Wah. So last night I was up until four am working on my blasted Women’s Studies Zine. I am really tired, I walked into my Business class (a 2 hour class) about 35 minutes late because I slept in (shhh if anyone asks, I had a doctors appointment and they said it would only be an hour but went two hours). Possible suckiest of all I don’t get to sleep later. I am a girl that likes, no loves, her sleep. I need sleep. I do not function well on less than six hours a night. I feel like I am dragging through wet sand if I get less than six hours of sleep 
a night. On that note, I do not mind sacrificing sleep for most of my classes. I would not be studying Engineering if I didn’t mind occasionally sacrificing sleep. But it’s Women’s Studies. This stupid class has been a thorn in my side for the entire term. I do not enjoy Women’s Studies. While the suffragettes were cool, and I would even go as far as to say a few of the second wavers were great, these days feminism is generally little more than a few over privileged bitches crying victim. And don’t even get me started on Eco-Feminism. Basically this class is “We will convert you to Feminism 101″. So am I happy to sacrifice my sleep for Women’s Studies… HELL NO!
On the flip side, Kristin is awesome with whatever Mac program she is using and our Zine looks more like a magazine. Totally professional. Oh, anyone have A4? Because we formatted it in A4 by accident, and it just looks too cool like that to change it to dorky 8 1/2 x 11.
Top 10 reasons to crawl under the bed and die January 16, 2008
Posted by smartblondece in Phi Rho, Weather, What?!, blah, school.2 comments
10. I’m tired.
9. There is never enough coffee or hours in the day.
8. The kid behind me in the coffee shop that insists that the table next to him is not in fact a table but a drum.
7. Walking to and from campus is turning slowly to me crawling back and forth
6. Womens Studies even more unbearable than normal because I don’t have my sister smirking next to me.
5. It is cold. 27 F this morning when I woke up.
4. The joys of Initiation week, fun but long.
3. 12 hours on campus today.
2. Math quiz tomorrow and once again, I am lost in class.
And drum rrrrroooooollllllllllllllllllllll……..
1. Because it just sound so good.
Sitting in Class III January 15, 2008
Posted by smartblondece in Phi Rho, school.add a comment
The wonders off business. I sit here paying half attention and dink about on my computer. Just spent a good amount of time working on getting all of the office hours for my classes into Google Calendar. They are all there now. Totally overwhelmed. This week is Initiation week for my sorority. Basically on top of classes, work and all my homework I have a sorority event each week. I have to go get a gift for my new little sister. My schedule today looks something like this:
10 am-12 pm Business
12 pm-2 pm Electrical Fundamentals Lab
2 pm-3 pm Electrical Fundamentals
3 pm-Whenever Visit Cultural Centers for Womens Studies assignment
5:30 pm- 7:30 pm Seminar on Women in Engineering, balancing life and work
7:30 pm-9:30 pm Making cookies at Katrina’s for sorority event
I get to go home after that. Shoot me now… please?
About to cry November 20, 2007
Posted by smartblondece in blah, school.1 comment so far
This sucks balls. I am in AutoCAD. It’s just been a bad last 18 hours in general. I had to go get a shot. It is the type you can feel go in and hurts like a mother. I go home and work on AutoCAD for a while before I left for chapter. Got back from chapter and worked on more AutoCAD. Couldn’t get my alignments to work and gave up after an hour Realized that the work I had done earlier for ec was now worthless becuase I some how never did one of the homeworks and I have to do that now. So I nearly cried then at my own idiocy of somehow not remembering to do the homework and not remembering it being turned in. Since I was just then remebering that it existed. So I work on the homework… long and convoluded. Got it drawn and go to insert a layout and plot and it crashed on me. Three times. Gave up went to bed, set alarms for 8:30.
Wake up. It’s 10:20. No memory of turning off any of my THREE alarms. I have missed Math Recitation. Really not doing well in Math, but have been working my butt off to get caught up and now this. I sit there and cry, call my mom and cry. And get ready and into the lab, becuase then I can at least fix my stupid AutoCAD. I get one fixed just in time after a bit of trouble. The other I have a few minutes to do. Then it starts going bizerk. Not going to explain what happened but I eventually fixed it 20 minutes after class started. Walk to the front to hand it in and Jina (not her real name) says to me: “Next time wait til I’m done.” I understand I get it. But I am sooooo worn down from AutoCAD, math and business, then work on top of it all that all I want to do right now is cry from it all.
I might just disappear… November 8, 2007
Posted by smartblondece in God, Missing England, Technology, What?!, family, school.1 comment so far
Been thinking a bit lately. To be honest I’m not really happy right now. There are a few things I am identifying as reverse culture shock (it’s been 4 1/2 months but it is still happening) and a few things that are nothing to do with that. One of my little weights on my shoulder, is something I’ve dealt with a lot before. I have slightly addictive tendencies. Thankfully this has not brought itself out in anything nasty such as drugs or alcohol or sex or gambling or anything else you might go to an anon meeting for. No this seems to come out in tv, the internet, The Sims and other things where I have a tendency to turn off my brain. Frankly, this is NOT good given my current amazing profession as a STUDENT. I need my brain to stay on. And to actually focus. I have not been focusing lately. I have been doing very little focusing. This is something I struggle with and probably always will. Not ADD. I know what I need to do, I just generally avoid doing those things in favor of the addictions listed above.
I am happiest when I am productive, close to God (I’m a Christian, I don’t talk about it much. Don’t really feel I need to. But I may more sometime not so soon… yes there is a point to this rambling) and when I feel in control of my life. But right now I don’t feel like I do. In fact I don’t feel like any of those things. I do not feel on top of anything and here is my big reason. I am spending too much time on this computer, on my bed, watching TV. I am not happy. I’m NOT happy! So why does that feel so friggin’ good to type? I don’t want this to be my life. And here’s the thing. This, how I am living right now isn’t what I want.
And I don’t need Doctor Phil, any life coach, self help book, or Pastor to tell me what to do. I wish I could say God told me. But no, my mom told me. And not anytime recently. No, she told me everyday as I grew up and never directly (or at least never as it sunk in with verbal enforcement). If I want to change it only I can. I need to get up off my arse and actually do something. My mother gave me that common sense. And if I learned anything while I was in England it was this: My mom is generally right. OK, not always but when it comes to a lot of things it’s generally a good idea to listen to my mom, to look at what she does, or at what she would want me to do. My parents have raised me, offered me every opportunity, and not so this would be my life. No, they wanted better for me. And here’s the thing. I want better for me.
This isn’t working. What I’m doing now. It’s just not. So here it is. A radical idea this day in age, among people in our age group. I’m turning off the computer. Granted, I am also a college student so perhaps I need to qualify this statement. I need the computer, the internet ect… for my school work. I need it to communicate with my classmates and my profs. So, tonight I turn it off and I only turn it back on to do homework, and check e-mails. I’ll work something out with iTunes, since it’s kinda my version of the radio. Maybe have it on but not allow iTunes store shopping. I just know I need a radical change right now.
Why stop there. Justin recently told me I watch too much telly. And after all he’s right. No more. I get wrapped up in stories. Thankfully with novels you have to wait a while if it’s a series in progress, or it just ends. No these shows that I get addicted to, they go on and on. Each week a new installment. I’m breaking these addictions. I don’t need them. And I am better than this. I am better than this life I am in right now. And here’s the thing. The life I should have, the life I have worked hard to get is right here. So close that I kinda float through it each day. I am sick of this. And here’s another thing. I miss God. And He hasn’t really gone anywhere. I just haven’t talked to Him in a really long time. So here it goes, heres the plunge. And if you don’t see me for a while, if I disappear… it’s because I’m out living my life.
Deer November 5, 2007
Posted by smartblondece in Animals, Friends, Navy, exercise, school.add a comment
The other night Kristin and I went out for a drive after working out. This ended up in us sitting up on Timberhill staring out at Corvallis. We were sitting there chatting when all of a sudden Kristin says, “Is there an animal out there?”
We turn on the head lights and right there, not 15 feet from us is this doe. She stares at us for a second and then walks down the hill. We were thinking that was pretty cool. We went back to talking until I saw the silhouette of antlers. “I think there’s a buck out there!”
Sure enough there was a big four point buck right where the doe had been. He followed her down the hill and we saw them again as they walked under the motion sensor lights of the house down below us. It was pretty cool.
We started working out again. Well, we only went once, on Saturday, but it was enough to get my motivation going.
On Thursday I was in Owen and I saw a flier for a navy program. I looked at it and I think I may have found something I would like to do. I’m a five year student. My family only will pay through my 4th year. The Navy Civil Engineering Corps has a scholarship that will pay E-3 pay scale (about $2000/month) while I’m in school, then after I will serve 4 years with the CEC. I would be an officer. 70% are stationed in the states, the other bases are Italy and Spain (!). The work is mostly manager level. This is what I want to do. And if the Navy is what gets me there then wonderful! I’m beginning to look at the application process. I have to get a hold of the guy in charge of the scholarship for this area.
Sitting in Class II October 24, 2007
Posted by smartblondece in blah, school.1 comment so far
I haven’t been good. Last night instead of actually doing any work I watched Ugly Betty online and went out with Kristin and Justin. I have a midterm at noon. I am doing well in the class, so not so worried. But I did forget to do a journal entry for my other business class, the one I’m sitting in right now. If I put my mind to everything then I’ll be able to get caught up and get myself out of this rut. Because that’s where I am. I’m in a rut. My flat is is disaster. I have very little clean clothes right now. I have a back log of homework and my grades will begin to show it very soon unless I do something. Today I am allowing myself one hour of TV (Pushing Daisies, I love that show and I have to let myself watch it). Kristin and I also had planned this week to work out at 7 am. I am not good at getting up early. I need my sleep, I love my bed. It is my friend. The elliptical machine… not so much. Probably should try to find another time. I really do want to get back on track. I have 2 loads of laundry to do, an Autocad drawing, clean my kitchen, MATH HOMEWORK (must get some of it done!), start ops plan, vacuum my room. I just want to keep myself doing something productive. Oh yeah, and I need a second job. Crap.
Sitting in class October 22, 2007
Posted by smartblondece in school.add a comment
This morning when I got up at 6 am I saw a text from Kristin that she wouldn’t be able to make the 7 am work-out. So needless to say I reset my alarm and went back to sleep. Managed to screw that up and I fell back asleep. By the time I woke up it was 8:50. No way I was making it to math class. I had to skip. But I managed to get to my first business class in time. So now I’m sitting here in Entrepreneurship. Actually really easy to pay attention while doing this… Sad, no?
October 16, 2007
Posted by smartblondece in Sick, blah, school.add a comment
Don’t know how I’m ever going to get back from this. I am just watching myself drown under the work… and I only missed 2 days. Worrying mostly about math. And now AutoCAD because I don’t have the energy to pull this off. Just feel really weak. I’m going to go to sleep as soon as Heroes is over.
